Can’t we all just get along… December 5, 2007
So I’m pretty sure that this is a topic that has been done to death but I just have to say it…I am so tired of caddy moms!!! What kind of example do we want to set for the next generation anyhow. We complain about junior high and high school girls with attitude problems, but I think it’s pretty obvious where they are learning their behavior.
I’m pretty sure this is something almost every mom out there has run into. No matter the choices we make for our children and our families we will run into someone who thinks we have made the absolute worst possible choice we could, and they are clearly not afraid to say so. I truly believe that the most parents are doing what they need to do to provide the best life for their kids, so why can’t we respect other peoples choices.
I could go on and on about situations my friends or I have been in where this has been a problem, but the most recent example I can think of happened recently when I had taken my daughter and infant son to the children’s museum with some friends. While our kids explored the ins and outs of a bubble machine, we moms started discussing kindergarten, something I will be dealing with all too soon. One of the local school districts no longer offers half day kindergarten. It’s either full day, every day of the week or full day half the days of the week, but the school district that we live in still offers half day, every day. I simply mentioned to one of my friends that I was there with that I really appreciated this since I didn’t think all kids (including my daughter)are ready for that at the tender age of 5. Another mom who was standing not too far from us piped up that she thought it was irresponsible to not start full day kindergarten, and that I clearly didn’t have my child’s best interest at heart. I’m sure you can picture the steam coming out of my head, and unfortunately I was so taken aback that I couldn’t think of any quick witted responses and I simply said “yes I do” and walked away.
This stuck with me, and I’ve done a lot of thinking about it and the countless other times I have come in contact with other moms who clearly think they have figured out the “right” way to raise a child. It’s my personal belief that there is no “right” way to parent. Well, there are some steadfast rules, I’ll assume you’re all aware of child abuse laws. But that aside every child is different, so much so that they all need to be parented in their own unique ways. From the day my daughter was born, she was busy. From the day she learned that she could make noise, by house has been a loud one. Because of her personality I have learned what parenting techniques work for her (well, I’m still learning :)). My son on the other hand could not be more different. Even in the hospital when he was born, he seemed easy going and he has shown me that some babies really are less work than others (yes, I know I’m in trouble when he’s a teenager). Their personalities were evident even in the womb.
I guess I should stop my rambling and go somewhere with this so I’ll just say this: Please, please…I beg you…don’t be critical of others parenting choices. You don’t know why some parents choose to stay home or work, breastfeed or bottle feed, public school or home-school, half day kindergarten or full time, but just because you don’t know why they do it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
Oh, and to answer the women in the Children’s Museum, my daughter is a busy girl but with out some scheduled down time and a good long nap she gets over whelmed and has a meltdown. I know that full day kindergarten would be setting her up for failure and as a parent who DOES have her best interests at heart I am happy to have half day kindergarten be an option for her!!
Hooray for you! I agree that we (moms) should be supporting each other instead of “fighting against” each other. I agree with what you said…we don’t know why other parents make the choices they do so we can’t judge them. I mean even if you diagree, then just agree to diagree about it but don’t make the other person feel bad. Let’s face it…YOU know your child the best! Do what’s best for your child, not what someone else thinks is best for them.
Well said. Both of you actually. I’m, again, not a mom, but a dad and enjoy coming here and weeing other’s view on these sorts of issues. All children are different and all parents are different. If the parents have it worked out between themselves on how they want to raise thier kid and that solution is working for them, they are happy and the child is happy and loved, then let them be. There is no hard-fast set of secular rules that work for every child.
That being said, I havent really understood the half day kindergarten situation, until possibly now. I went to a full day kindergarten when I was 5 and turned out just fine, but I now see where other’s are coming from in terms of it being or not being the best for their kids and what the child can handle. Thanks for that insight Em, this half-day thing was completely foreign to me until I moved to Montana and I just plain thought it was stupid because of my lack of understanding as to potential benefits of it for the child and the parents. I am glad that we still have another 4 years before ours hits the school system!
Sorry - that was supposed to say ’seeing’ not ‘weeing’ in the first sentence of my reply!