So I’d like to preface this by saying that I am in no way the biggest class act around. I’ve been known to forget to put my napkin in my lap at a nice dinner on more than one occasion, and I’m not sure I really even know the proper placement for silverware at the dinner table.
That being said, I do think manners are important, and the most important of all manners is courtesy. On several occasions over the last few years I have noticed that common courtesy is not so common anymore. One of the biggest examples of that was that upon moving to California I noticed that rarely would anyone hold the door for strangers in public, and when I did I was given strange looks. To be totally honest for awhile I agreed with the stereotype that Californians were just ruder than the people I had grown up around in Montana (something that I learned to be totally untrue).
Over the course of the last month or so I have had the unfortunate experiance of finding that my generation needs to go back to manners school even more than I thought. Now I don’t want to go into details, god forbid that the poor mannered are actually reading this, but…
When I was growing up one of the most important things that was drilled into my head was the importance of saying “please” and “thank you”. Even the biggest favor seems like no big deal when the recivers says a simple “thank you”. This is something that we work dilligently hard on with our daugher, and our son when he’s old enough and I hope they grows up to be some of the dying breed that actually write thank you notes.
Something else that comes to mind is the art of being a good guest. We have had the unfortunate experience of having some very poor house guests in the recent past. I was taught to go out of your way to be grateful when you are a house guest and also to go out out your way to be a good host. My recent experiences had my husband and I doing several things to make sure that our guests would be as comfortable as possible and help them have a relaxing, enjoyable visit. Not a thank you was uttered. Yuck!!!
So what’s my point with this whole thing….well I’m not totally sure. But I’ll say this, remember what your mother said: “remember your pleases and thank yous”
Thank you. May I have some more please?
Common Courtesy. Isn’t that an oxymoron nowadays? I’ve ranted on this subject before so i am well versed in it. What is really amazing is when you say thank you to someone and they act surprised since they never hear it. I think all we can do is continue to say please and thank you and act civilized and maybe other people will get the idea. i really doubt it but what else can a person do.
Common courtesy is a lot like common sense. Sadly it has become an uncommon virtue. I think we need to follow Sam’s lead and continue to be a good example for the kidlets and others.
I’m looking forward to the random thoughts of a Montana SAHM. Welcome to the ‘Sphere.
Thanks Randy. I totally agree with you both about common courtesy and common sense. It’s good to hear that I’m not the only one that misses those virtues.
I believe people are just becoming more selfish. Everything is about me, me, me. We put so much stress upon oursleves we can’t afford to take the time to make other people happy, nor do we care to. But I do beleive being courteous is contagious. Hopefully, one day, we’ll have an epidemic.
On the other hand, I think our generation is more apt to thinking outside the box. I find myself thinking, “why the heck do I want to stick my dirty napkin on my pants?” and “Does wearing a tie magically make me a more special person?” We Question stuff. That’s who we are.
I totally hope that this wasnt us! We are so thankful for all you did for us a few weekends ago and hope that we didnt come off otherwise. With myself having fogotten the backpack in the car and then with Anaiya running the temp, we may have seemed preoccupied most of the time we were there, but I really hope that you know how thankful we are for your understanding and coforting words of experience with sick kids. I humbly apologize if we did not express this to you that weekend. We are so thankful to have been able to hang out with you, even for that hsort period of time. I only wish it hadnt had to be at a Walmart and not more fun like it was this weekend.
I do agree with you on common courtesy. It is a big thing missing from generation now. Having lived and worked where we did in Ohio, I think we may take it for granted. Opening the door, please and thank you’s, prayer at mealtime, all that was just standard behavior there and it served as a real example of the way things should/could be. Sometimes it was so much that it got annoying! But its better that than none at all.
Jason- what you said about Ohio makes me want to move to a commune (well maybe not really
) The idea of living in a community where this kind of stuff is just the norm and it would be more uncommon to not see it sounds so nice. But at least it seems to me that more and more of our friends with small kids are trying to instill this value, so maybe the next generation will embrace it.