So you may be wondering what my plans are for this blog…well, I am sick and tired of having random things happen in my life or hearing random stories and telling my husband “I should blog about this”. And to be perfectly honest I think he’s pretty sick and tired of hearing me go on and on about these things. So I guess I needed an outlet for my thoughts, a place where I can tell the world about the crazy things that happen when you’re a mother of two small children. Also a place to have some adult conversation (hello…not the naughty kind), my three year old is really not interested in these things. This world is a crazy place, and I’d like to rant a little bit (even if it is just to two readers)
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I sort of promised your husband that I wouldn’t come over here and bother you, but I see you’re interested in raising children—and I presume raising them correctly—so I thought I’d drop you a note and say that I’m available to answer any questions you may have.
I have personally changed over 6500 diapers. I have not only raised one of my own to adulthood, and I might say rather successfully, but I have also helped to raise dozens of other people’s children, most of which turned out very nicely, but a few of which were also total failures, at least in my estimation.
So if it’s baby food, or clothes, or toys, or teaching a child to use the toilet on time, to teaching reading and writing, or about dispensing rewards and punishments, attending day care or starting public school and all the way to taking the SAT’s and finding a good college—I’m your guy, Checker 5.
I might also add that, besides the pragmatic and technical aspect of child rearing, I am also very well acquainted with the existential aspects of being a parent. So if you have any philosophical issues you’d like to throw at me, I can catch.
Thanks Check, it’s good to know you’ve got my back. By the way, doesn’t 6500 diapers qualify you for some sort of honorary nanny status?
The diaper number is approximate. Last I knew, the average American baby gets 6200 diaper changes before being toilet trained. In Japan, the number is 14,000 diaper changes. Yes, true.
So, unless you’re into the latest urban liberal craze of allowing your children to “free-range” when it comes to relieving themselves, you will probably average just over 6000 diaper changes per child.
yikes…I have to admit that with our first I did the old fashioned thing and used cloth (even washed them myself). But the second time around I have less time and less energy, so I figure I’ll take my turn filling the landfills. As far as that number goes, wow. I’m just glad we’re not one of those family’s who wait until their kids are in kindergarten to tackle the potty training issue.